Columbo's "Excuse Me Mr. Obama"-Truth! Fiction! & Satire!

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean Senator Obama, sir. Um . . . know you are busy and important and stuff. I mean running for president is very important and . . . ah . . . I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute ok, sir? 

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things. 

Well, listen, anyways, I can 't seem to get the information I need to wrap this up. 
These things seem to either be locked up or not available. They should be available as part of the public record given the high office you are seeking to win, Sir. I' m sure it's just some oversight or glitch or something, so if you could tell me where these things are..

Could you help me please find these things, sir?
Let's see here....Ah, Yes, Sir It's just a short list....Shouldn't take too long if we could just get together, Sir......All I need is : 
Your Occidental College records
Your Columbia College records
Your Columbia Thesis paper
Your Harvard College records
Your Selective Service Registration
Your medical records
Your Illinois State Senate records
Your Illinois State Senate schedule
Your Law practice client list
A Certified Copy of your original Birth certificate
Your embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth
Your Harvard Law Review articles that were published
Your University of Chicago scholarly articles
Your Record of baptism 

Oh hey... listen, Sir ! I know you are VERY busy! Is this too much for you now? I mean,...I tell you what. I will come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you are busy, so I will just let myself out......But I will be back tomorrow. 

And the day after...........
Who wants to know these things asked Senator Obama? 

Columbo answered: